Archive for: ‘August 2011’

Being Single is Lovely, Lovely, Lovely

August 31, 2011 Posted by sheppard

While you people search action, you should know that it ain’t all sadness and desperation. Being single is lovely. So very lovely. You are free to take onĀ  adult dating as a serious pursuit. Chasing sex is a serious pursuit – is it not? Anyways, as I said, being single is lovely. We’re just often bullshitted into believing it’s not. But here’s why it is (and yes, some of these reasons are absurdly trivial – but don’t you know it’s the little pleasures that make life worth living?)

1. The bed is mine. The whole bed.

2. I can dance around my apartment naked or spend 30 minutes reading “The strangest deaths” on Wikipedia without worrying that anyone is around to judge me.

3. Um, more time with my single friends, who are somehow more awesome than my coupled friends.

4. Flirting with anyone and everyone.

5. Fucking anyone and everyone.

6. Not showering. As much.

7. Not having to consult anyone about the weekend. Or about dinner. Or about how I really want to quit my job and just go fuck off to the Czech Republic for a while.

8. Sleep

9. Not having to pretend to listen to topics of conversations or problems or feelings I REALLY don’t give a fuck about.

10. Selfish selfish selfishness.

Ok, that last one was a little lame and nonsensical, but if you just got out of a super long relationship like I did, you’ll totally know what I mean.

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What To Do When Your Gut Says She’s Cheating

August 1, 2011 Posted by sheppard

You suddenly have the weird feeling your woman is cheating on you. Brutal. You don’t have concrete proof, but your gut is screaming at you as if it just ingested a a bad burrito. It happens. People search action elsewhere sometimes, and your girl is no exception to this rule. Of course, just because you’ve got the feeling, doesn’t mean you are correct. Sometimes your own insecurities, no matter how subconscious they are, can manifest themselves in your belly, make a fire, convince you of crazy, untrue things.

But never fear, my man, there is a right way to deal with this situation. First of all, don’t snoop! The old breaking in to the hotmail/gmail/iPhone/Facebook thing is just low. Too low. You won’t feel good after, and chances are that even if she’s not cheating, you’ll end up seeing stuff you don’t want to. And it will sit there in your mind like a crazy man, but you won’t be able to say anything, because you know what you did was WRONG. And if you admit what you did, she’ll have grounds never to trust you again.

Ok, so snooping’s off, so at first you should just wait a bit. Think. Try to pinpoint if it could be some other sort of insecurity that is arising out of a different problem between you two. Observe. Is she suddenly buying new lacy bra things? Hitting the gym extra hard? Constantly distracted? Not up for sex? If so, she definitely might be having sex with someone else. So you’ve got to confront her, but confront is not the right word, it is the wrong word.

You need to sit her down in a non-threatening atmosphere and calmly and rationally explain how you feel. Tell her that her behavior makes you feel as if she might be being faithful and simply ask her to be honest with you about it. Don’t accuse, make it clear you realize you might be way off – you are just asking. You are concerned. Again, calm, rational, sincere are all things you should attempt to be in this case. It’s hard, but if your eyes have the glow of a crazy mofo, I guarantee she’s not going to fess up

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